I know, I’ve been there. You know a doula is good for birth (and can influence outcomes too!), you need support, but man, who can afford THAT? But let me tell you, I was so wrong. 

I chose to go cheap and ‘hire’ my doula of choice as a midwife’s assistant. Rather than pay for her doula services, I switched care to the midwife she worked for, assuming this was the same as having her as my doula. 

Cut to: I’m laboring through the night, allllll the midwives are asleep on my couch (so they can have all their brains available for keeping track of my medical health when the main event arrives), and my husband is waking up at the peak of every contraction to press on my back, before he immediately collapses on the floor again to sleep. 

That’s not support. 

But, my midwives were doing what I paid them for: being vigilant about my PHYSICAL health. They couldn’t do and be everything I needed them to be. Doulas are worth their weight in GOLD.

So here are a few reasons why making a doula a financial priority in your birth plan is more important than, say, a $300 stroller: 

1. They are the only person, probably besides a partner or family member, who will be there the ENTIRE time. If you have a 32 hr birth like I did, or you transfer from home to hospital, no nurse, doctor, or midwife will be staying by your side through the entire thing. Many midwives don’t transfer with you to the hospital, either. 

2. They are specifically trained, and paid for, emotional support. I know that sounds vague, and like anybody could do it, but bear with me a second: have you ever fought with your mother? Have you ever felt like your partner was a little clueless in what to do to help you when you’re sick? Doulas are trained to know exactly what to do, and how. For this exact scenario. For every possible birth scenario. And they know how to be emotionally supportive of your choices, even if your choices don’t match up with the choices they think they would make, or that you ‘should’ make. That is MASSIVE. Many people don’t know how to be supportive when they don’t agree with you, or how to be supportive when they are processing their own feelings and emotions about the circumstances. Many don’t know how to be supportive, period. That’s our jam and butter.  

3. They relieve the mental load. My #1 job as a doula is to make sure that the ‘things’ around your birth, other than your actual birth, disappear. I don’t think many of us realize the constant stream of thoughts and responsibilities flow through our minds on a daily basis, especially for women. The organizing, the packing, giving direction, steering the ship, running the household, and taking care of all the details. Managing the emotions of other people in the room. Oh, the ANXIETY. Once you get her up to speed, you can leave that stuff to the doula. At least for a little while, while you take care of the main job: focusing on your labor, the experience, the joy, and making life-long memories. That shouldn’t be interfered with by less than important minutiae. Doulas aren’t mind-readers, and they want you to speak for yourself whenever possible, but when you are trying to communicate something in labor, it’s drawing away from your ability to stay totally present with your birth. Anything requiring mental energy that can be handed off, can be handed off to your doula. 

4. On-call availability. When you build a relationship with someone, you usually want that specific person available at your birth. Life happens sometimes, people get sick, accidents happen. But for a professional to have on-call availability, especially as part of a business they run where they are on-call for multiple people over the course of a month’s time, a lot of preparation goes into that. It means your doula can’t take any vacations, go out of town to visit family, or any further than maybe an hour away. She can’t go to theme parks, events, or other locations where you have to park far away and it takes a while to get to your car. They have to be prepared to be called out in the middle of the night, and arrange childcare for going out in the middle of the night. They need to keep their phone on, charged, and nearby, miss family events and holidays, have the gas tank filled, the car running smoothly, and the doula bag stocked. Then there is the unexpected - what if you were to have a miscarriage? Pregnancy loss does happen occasionally, so the doula’s on-call period is not just for the few weeks around your due date. Not to mention that people commonly go into labor up to 3 weeks before and after their ‘due dates.’ 

5. Hidden costs. Here is a short list of some of the things that go into running an entrepreneurial business, which is required with doula work, in order for your doula to stay consistently available for birth attendance, and give quality service:

   1. On-call costs (gas, childcare, supply stock, etc.)

   2. Professional development: the cost of certifications completed, continuing education or future certifications and business re-investment, membership fees, re-certification fees, and resources paid to upkeep knowledge and skill in areas like rebozo use, body work, aromatherapy, and evidence-based practices. 

   3. Self-employment taxes and business expenses (running a website, automation services, banking, business membership fees, marketing costs, time and money spent creating online resources for clients, etc.)

   4. Time incurred with consultations, prenatal visits, postpartum visits, and the childcare costs that come with that time - including travel time and phone support.

   5. The physical toll of labor support - I often visit my chiropractor after hours of holding a hip squeeze at a birth. Missed sleep, poor meals, and missed regular self-care. 

   6. Lost time with family, children, and peers. Many moms have to volunteer in their child’s classroom, or otherwise be involved in school or childcare. I’ve seen a midwife have to leave for a birth in the middle of an expensive training she had paid for. 

6. A doula brings priceless experience, knowledge, wisdom and knowing, and a professional network in her back pocket. She knows how to get you connected with the right resources for the problem you’re facing right now. Because she keeps up on her professional development, she’s been reading about that D_MER you’re facing, or can tell the difference between a health problem that is normal, or one that needs a referral to a medical professional, and knows which one you should contact first.

7. Her personality. Don’t undervalue the rarity of finding a soul mate. If you’re thinking of hiring a doula, it’s probably due to some aspect about her that helps you feel safe and loved in her presence, and that is valuable. 

Payment options. 

There are lots of options when it comes to getting together the cash for your valuable doula. Making it a financial priority for your birth can have a more positive impact on your feeling prepared than that fancy nursery decor or stroller. 

Commonly, doulas are paid before the first prenatal visit. I personally accept cash, check, venmo, google pay, or paypal online. You will get a receipt for your payment, and can use that receipt to submit to your insurance company with a form I can provide for a possible reimbursement. Not all insurance companies will reimburse, but the more people submit for this, the more likely any given company will consider insuring doula support in the future. Doula services are deductible under your flex spending account and they also can be written off under IRS schedule A with an itemized receipt. Here are some more creative ways clients have resourced the funds to pay for doula services:

• Set up a payment plan, even from preconception - give me a call or ask in your consult about payment plan options. 

• Skip your daily coffee for 9 months and save $810

• Re-allocate your pregnancy wine money for 40 weeks and save $800 - assuming you drank a $20 bottle of wine per week pre-pregnancy...

• Baby showers - crowd fund those doula services!

• Gift Cards (options available on my website soon!)

• Raising funds by selling unused items on eBay, Craigslist, or a garage sale

• Operation Special Delivery offers volunteer doula services at a reduced price for military families. 

• Check out how to get your insurance company to pay for your doula

Have you ever been in a rut, maybe your car broke down, and you needed what seemed like an impossible amount of cash like NOW? Looking back, do you remember getting that cash - usually you figure it out, however you need to figure it out - and it doesn’t seem like such an emergency anymore, does it? When you really need it, you become thrifty and productive like never before. Paying for a doula is worth those reserved resources. Blessings for a beautiful empowering birth!